I am speechless tonight. Right now, I am beyond words, filled with so much emotion.
I was roasting coffee tonight when I noticed my phone blinking.
The notification revealed this: http://www.envisionkindness.org/young-mugs-coffee-roasters-pays-forward-zoe-faye/
I never mention my daughter, Zoë, in the same breath or conversation as Young Mugs Coffee. I have always wanted to keep them seperated, in fact, because I want my coffee to sell on its own merit. I never wanted anyone to buy my coffee because they felt bad for me.
The things I can't seperate are the exeriences I had with loosing a child to cancer and how that made me feel.
On my other blog on www.teamzoecamcersucks.com I once wrote a story that I had hoped to have actually enacted with Zoe one day when she would arrive home from school. I would be waiting in the kitchen, with three pots of boiling water on the stove. I would also have a plate on the side with an egg, a carrot, and some coffee beans.
I would tell her this: when you place the egg in the boiling water, it enters
soft and becomes hardenes. The carrot enters hard and becomes soft. The coffee beans enter the boiling water and change the emvironment, the flavor of the water.
What is ironic is that I wrote this blog post long before I considered starting a coffee roasting business.
The message I wanted to teach Zoë, and eventually Esmée and André, is right there, right where I am. I want to change my environment, change the flavor.
I can't seperate Zoë from Young Mugs Coffee, as much as I thought I could, or tried to. Young Mugs Coffee Roasters is an extention of The Zoë Faye Foundation.
I am writting that because when Zoë was sick and even after she passed away, we received a tremendous amount of support and I knew there was no way we could pay it back. The only option I could come up with is to pay it forward.
In that, I honor Zoë.